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Bar Ditch Breakdown


A few months after Catie died, I was driving a backroad near our East Texas home. Grieving out loud I said, “God, you have no idea what I’m going through!” Then, almost audibly – but much more real than audible – the response came, “Oh yes, I do!” 

Stunned by that thought, I started to shake. New realities swirled through my mind. I pulled the car into a grassy bar-ditch and sat their dumbfounded. 

The impression continued. “You tried everything to save your daughter but were unable. I could have rescued my Son, but I loved you enough to let Him die for you!” By then I was weeping. In that moment, I received a glimpse of how much God loves me.  

The pain a parent experiences watching helplessly as a child dies is excruciating – I know that pain. But I can only imagine the agony of a parent choosing to let their child die to save someone else. That love is beyond my comprehension, yet that is the love God the Father has for me – and all of us!  

That moment marked me for life. I have struggled a lot since that roadside conversation, but I have never doubted God’s unfathomable love for me.  

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us!” (I John 3:1a)

Dan Bolin


Refueling in Flight Ministries, Inc


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