Who Started It?

Nº 354

May 13, 2025

Our love ought to follow the love of God in one point, namely, in always seeking to produce reconciliation. It was to this end that God sent His Son. - C.H. Spurgeon

The children’s argument became heated. The parents intervened and restored calm. As things simmered down, the parents asked the age-old question, Who started it? He did... She did!

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, “if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there. . . First, go and be reconciled to your brother.” (Matthew 5:23-24)

A few chapters later He said, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.” (Matthew 18:15)

So, which is it? In a broken relationship, when there is a difference of opinion, outright conflict, harsh argument, or personal offense, whose job is it to initiate restoration?

Who started it is an irrelevant question. If we find ourselves in an interpersonal conflict, the real question is, who will end it?

In Matthew 5 the responsibility to initiate restoration begins with the guilty party. In Matthew 18, the burden falls to the one who has been offended. If there is tension in the room, whether you started it or not, take the first step toward reconciliation. Seek peace and work to restore the relationship.

Excelsior,

Dan Bolin